Manners

** Warning – short rant incoming ***

One of my many pet peeves in life is manners.  Whether it is in a game or at the local Game Stop I think manners are an important part of showing maturity in yourself and respect to the people around you.  I also agree with the saying “treat others as you yourself want to be treated.” 

Now I am not saying that I have never been a jerk in game (or out).  Everyone has.  We all have bad days or get frustrated and lose our cool and take it out on the people around us.  It just happens.  But I always try to be polite and when I do lose my cool I am usually the first person to say “sorry”.  Whether I am right or wrong I should not have acted like an ass to the other person.

I know this does not directly relate to the game but this is something that I see more and more in groups and in general chat.  Just because you are an anonymous name in a computer game does not give you permission to act totally ignorant to the people around you.  One of the quickest way to get on my ignore list is to be a total jerk to everyone repeatedly.  I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt so it takes me a while to resort to this but it does happen.   

This brings me to one of my final things.  A lot of things that get said can come out the wrong way or strike another person in an offensive way.   The easiest way to correct this is to talk about it during a quiet time; usually it is best if you wait until after the raid and not right before a boss or another pull.  Usually in party chat or guild chat is not the right way, but in a private tell.    Give the person a chance to explain or even apologize if necessary.  The majority of people do not play this game trying to make people mad, yes I know some do, but the majority are good people. 

If you can not reach a solution with the person than please speak to a guild officer and see if they can alleviate the conflict.  I have seen too many times emotions get the best of someone, they say some things that they do not mean, and than /gquit.  Please stop and cool down and think about what you are going to do.  Especially if you have time and friendship invested in a guild, don’t throw it all away over a misunderstanding. 

I am not a guild officer and while I do have time and friendship invested in the guild I try not to get involved in situations unless I feel there is absolutely no choice or I feel that I can some way inject something for the good of the guild.  This past week we had a bad time in raids, we took along some new people to get them both experience and gear and it did not go the best.  I know it is tough when you go to an instance that is normally on farm and it takes a few tries since you are teaching some new people, but remember we were all new at some time.  Yes we could of did some things differently, maybe take a few less new people than we did so we had more experience to help cover them, but all in all they learned a lot and got some good upgrades that will help the “guild” as a while in the future.  While I could go into a whole long essay about people that want to raid need to put the guild in front and do what benefits it most as a whole, I think I will save that for another day. 

Suffice it to say we had some long standing members get mad about wiping and say some things that never should have been said and than when it caused conflict instead of apologizing or taking the time to explain that they were frustrated they just quit.  It never should have come to that point. 

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2 Comments on “Manners”

  1. Ephii Says:

    That kind of situation can be alleviated if the older members are approached before the run to let them know that you’re trying to educate the newer members. I think this lowers everyone’s expectations (not exactly in a bad way) and helps encourage constructive criticism rather than pointing fingers (I’ve found that placing blame is usually what ends up happening). Our guild did this just last week, where 60% of the ZA raid was new. We made it a point to advertise that we were taking mostly new people to get the used to working with each other (also somewhat of an evaluation). It worked out really end, as the new members were thankful that the older members took the time to work with them and the older members felt good that they were able to contribute to the guild’s progression overall.

  2. Kyrilean Says:

    Amen!!!

    I have to say that I run into this all the time. I currently am a guild officer in a guild that I really enjoy. It’s something I have mixed feelings about, as I tend to like to blend in. I didn’t campaign for it, ask for it, or even expect it. Just one day I logged in and two days later realized I had been made an officer.

    We are not large and are not recruiting heavily. We rely on the members to invite whomever they choose and are pretty open to all. That’s probably where we run into trouble. Our one rule is courtesy. We don’t put up with idiotic behavior and rudeness to other members. They get kicked fairly quickly. We have aspirations to raiding and just last night I finally got my key for Karazhan.

    The issue I run into most is anger over instances and raids. No one likes wiping. It’s frustrating and costs money. As a healer, I often get blamed for wipes and with pugs it’s almost always done rudely. Never mind that the others are poorly geared or can’t control aggro.

    I do like Ephii’s suggestion about talking about potential issues up front. I’d suggest this especially in non-guild situations. But I’d rather see more maturity in all to remember that everyone has to start somewhere. Once they did too.


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